Thanksgiving

So, 10 million years later, I'm writing again here, but from now on, I promise to update the blog at least once a month. A lot of stuff happened with me since the last time I wrote here. I passed the qualifiers (YEAH!), saw Muse in Brazil, got chicken pocks (seriously, I almost died...), started to teach undergrads... Now I'm going more often to concerts and less often to dance clubs. I still like to dance but there are so many amazing bands to see at New York. Plus I still didn't find the "right" club for me. Webster Hall does a decent job most of the time, but it can suck hard sometimes and it's always the same...

As for the sickness, this semester has been very hard for me. I was always very healthy but now I'm getting sick more easily. Now I'm fine but I get the feeling things can get ugly if I get sick again. That is so because I feel it may be an allergy to my new place (or at least, that's what the doctor told me). The problem is that I don't want to move out, so I really hope it's not an allergy, that I just had bad luck and things will start to get better from now on.

Today is Thanksgiving day and I spent the day completely alone, without talking to anyone. It's surprising how that can be sad and comforting at the same time. The sad part comes from realizing that I don't have real friends here and nobody really cares if I'm dead or alive. The comforting part comes from realizing that I'm not so bad this. It's good to have a time of my own and it's good to know that I can do amazing stuff without relying on other people. Such mixed feelings pretty much sum up what I am and what inspired the title of this blog. A contradiction...

Since almost everything in my life involves music, I'm listening to Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams now. I survived a lot of challenges in my life but in the end I'm always going on, but alone. The problem is that I'm tired of that and want to make real friends. And although I'm anti-social by nature, I keep trying. The result is almost always bad but I can't help. I do have to try. Changing Green Day's lyrics, I would say that I'm still alive but I don't necessarily (don't want to) walk alone...